Sneaking into places: the movie theaters

December 13, 2006

The number one rule in sneaking into places is to act like you’re the VIP; that you deserve to be there; that you’ve paid good money for the ticket and should be treated royally. I’m
not going to say if I have done it but I will say that if the people were watching the doors were so smart, why are they watching doors?

1. Movie theaters. There are some tricks on how to sneak into movie theaters. Some are old but some are new. No, I didn’t come up with these tricks. I learned through people whose description rhymes with lady and goes after Slim.

a. Buy one ticket and go in and open the side door trick. I know. Not too bold or slick. But it works. Just make sure your friends don’t giggle or act like they’ve committed a crime walking in.

b. Buy one ticket and tear it off yourself. Put the piece that the theaters suppose to keep and show the usher your ticket. Talk to him for 5 seconds so that he remembers you. Like “where’s the restroom?” Or “you think that movie is any good?” Make sure to read his name tag and says, “thanks John, or whatever his name is.” Then go in for about 3-5 minutes and on your way out ask him if you can go in again after walking out [no duh you can walk in again; you’re just trying to get him to remember your face]. Now give your ticket to your date or whoever you’re with. Take the piece the theaters supposed to keep with you and walk in. No, he won’t look at your ticket. Just act like you got the real stub. Yes, your date will think you’re the shiet. Yes, you have a good chance of getting lucky.

c. Buy 3 tickets for your group of friends. Three people go in first. Then one person takes the other two people’s stubs out. Get two more people in and repeat until everyone is in. Yes, it would be smart to change the person that has to take the tickets out every time. Once everyone is in, have someone (a girl is better since everyone is nice to a girl) go to the ticket booths and return two ticket stubs for money because you and your partner no longer want to watch the movie. Then you use the leftover one to get in. If you want to be bold, use the trick from #2 and combine with this one and everyone gets in free. But that’s bold with a capital B. Are you up for it?

Next time will be tips on how to get into basketball/football/baseball games.

Getting into a great college with mediocre grades …

December 12, 2006

This post is for those who want to get into a better college than they are statistically qualified for. And I’m doing it because it is my only way of giving back to society besides paying taxes. Moreover, I pride myself on getting work done with minimal effort.

Before I go off, I like to brag a little about myself. I was a so-so student back in high school that took some honors and AP classes and got mediocre grades in them; I also had mediocre grades on the SATs. But I was “luckily” got accepted to all the colleges that I applied for (the top UCs in California).

So, what is the secret?

Well, there isn’t really a secret. Below is a list of things that the more you do, the higher chance you’ll get accepted. The listing order doesn’t determine its importance.

1. Join sports. Even if you’re bad at them, just join so applications know that you were involved. You do not have to be good. All you have to do in join a team and practice. You do not need to play. Colleges do not know if you’re a starter or just a practice player. You just want to legally put “tennis,” “track,” “basketball,” whatever.

2. Join one or two club, not thousands of them. Joining a lot of clubs just show that you like to follow what everyone does. Join one club and become an officer in it. The higher the rankings, the better. It doesn’t matter if the club is “Key Club,” “Honor Society,” “CSF,” “Chess Club,” “Basketball Club,” “Comic Club,” “Volunteer Club.” It doesn’t matter what club; as long as you can put the word president or vice president next to your name. It’s even better if you’re a founder of that club. Then you can put founder and president. Don’t that sound more important than “secretary” of “Key Club” or “Honor Society?”

3. Apply early. Way before the deadline so college will have more spots to offer. But likelihood is that you won’t. Because if you are the type to apply early, you wouldn’t be reading on how to get into college with mediocre grades.

4. Join band. College love bands.

5. Go to church (or join any youth group such as boy scout). Then you can list the many things you “help out.” Teaching little kids. Bake sale. Car washing event. Remember, it’s important that you are the “founder” of these events. I’m not advocating you to exaggerate your effort and work but I just want to remind you that there is no lying detector for college applications.

6. Don’t lie. Do make it sound important; like really really important. Colleges love energy.

7. Get a job. Yes, this is important because it shows colleges that you work for your money and indirectly explains why you got your mediocre grades and test scores. It also shows independence.

8. Sign up for as many AP and honors classes as you can possibly can for your senior year. No, you do not need to get good grades in them. This is to show colleges that you are still hungry for knowledge despite the fact that they won’t see your grades when you submit your college applications. I understand that they will require you to do well (3.0 average for top colleges), but that will be a piece of cake if you ask your teachers to help you out. No teacher wants to be the person that prevents you from attending a top-notch college. Trust me on this one.

9. Sign up for GE classes (I recommend the English classes and psychology) at your local community college. This has to advantages. You won’t have to do it again in college and thus will have more time to have fun while graduating in time. Colleges love it when they see high school taking college classes because it shows you want to be intellectually stimulated. It doesn’t really matter that these community college classes are easier than your AP and honor classes. And believe me, they are.

10. Have a talent. Like play an instrument (most asians do this). Or better yet, “founder” of a band. No, your band doesn’t have to be famous or even profitable. We’re not applying for sponsorships here. We’re trying to look good on a college application.

11. Lastly, it’s ok to declare as an “undecided” major. Actually, it’s more to your advantage since your criteria to get accepted are less harsh than say, pre-med, business, or engineering.


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